“When the student is ready the teacher will appear. When the student is truly ready… The teacher will Disappear.” – Tao Te Ching
Having mentors in my life have been a saving grace. In so many motivation/self-help books, it refers to the need for mentors. It was something I was always conscious of and was actively seeking. My mentors have provided me with sound advice, provided opportunities, and most importantly believed in me.
“You don’t you how many people held me down to help me grow” – Wretch 32
It hasn’t been all smooth sailing though, one first experience with mentorship wasn’t the greatest, I’d met this director from JP Morgan. We met for an initial coffee which was great, he then invited me to a networking event, I attended but didn’t take the proper time to network and follow up with him properly. Looking back at it now I just felt like I didn’t deserve to be there, my first experience with imposter syndrome. I didn’t work to maintain that relationship and it disappeared like dust. That experience taught me a lot, you have to know what you want from a mentor, understand what you’re prepared to give and work on the relationship.
Below are some of the mentors that have helped on my journey so far. So many more I could have named, but I would be typing all night.
Lord Michael Hastings
A friend invited me to a networking event and the guest speaker was Lord Michael Hastings, he spoke about his upbringing, his career and the importance of leadership. The talk was captivating and resonated with me on so many levels. After the talk I approached him and asked him to be my mentor, he gave me the soft curve! But I wasn’t disheartened. I planned to email him once I got home and would continue doing so until I got a response. Fortunately, I started speaking to one of his mentees. This wasn’t a strategic move, Tambo just seemed cool so we started speaking. We exchanged numbers and he passed my number to Michael. Michael dropped me a text and we started speaking from there. Over the years I have travelled with Michael to New York, North Carolina, and Columbia. Witnessing the excellence first hand has been a real blessing. He has shared career gems, life lessons and the importance of purpose. If you knew me pre-Michael and post Michael, I think it’s fair to say that you would respect the growth.
Carlos Thorpe and Candy Thorpe
I met Candy when I was 16, while I was working in Homebase, she wanted to buy a mirror and being the salesman that I am, I offered her a discount if she took out a Homebase credit card. I had a daily target which meant I could go home early, and she got a 20% discount, win-win. What I didn’t know was that Candy was a talented lawyer who happened to live close by. From that first encounter, we would form a rapport where she would advise me, recommend books to read and hold me accountable. She later married Carlos who has treated me like a brother, providing advice in regards to finance, business and manhood. As well as their professional support, watching their union has been amazing and shown me on a personal level what a perfect partnership in marriage should be like.
Colin Gabay
Colin was a technical architect at Crown Agents, we were working on a Tax project together and naturally connect. I expressed my desire to become a business analyst and he provided all of the support I needed. Each Friday we’d catch up for lunch, we’d discuss project management, business analysis, testing and navigating in the Crown Agents environment. He arranged for me to shadow the lead business analyst which would kick-start my career. He played a big part in everything I am doing now and I am eternally grateful for his help.
Sue Murray, Kevin Ayres and Mark Pountney
At London Business School, I was blessed to have a superstar team around me. Kevin was my direct manager, he reviewed every report I wrote. That act in itself was priceless, I had so many positive comments about my reports but if they ever saw the first draft, it would be a different conversation, he also knew my career aspirations and didn’t block me when I switched teams. The only bad thing about Kevin was that he supported Spurs.
Sue and Mark were both directors are London Business School, and I learned so much from them both. Mark would spend time with me during lunch teaching me the management side of technology. He would put me on projects that would challenge me and shared a keen interest in my development. He helped me get sponsorship to do my masters. Sue was a sounding board whenever I had problems, she shared all of the documentation she accumulated over the years, giving me the tools to handle any problem I faced academically and professionally. Sue and Mark continued to advise me even after I left London Business School.
Tips to Getting a Mentor –
1. Until you find your mentors, books are your mentors: Read about people that are in the position you want to be in. Even when you get a mentor, books are still your mentors.
2. Play it cool: In most cases, I didn’t ask for mentorship, sometimes that can put people off because they don’t know how to do it. But you can ask to catch up over coffee or lunch and just ask them questions you have. It doesn’t need to be so formal.
3. Think about what you can offer them: You can pay for lunch, support them with advice or work or even little gifts, it doesn’t need to be extravagant. The saying is true, it’s the thought that counts.
4. Attitude is everything: Talent gets you in the room, but the character/attitude keeps you there.
5. Do the work: If you’re not implementing their advice you’re wasting their time and selling yourself short
6. Serendipity: The more you try, the luckier you get. Email 100 people, someone will say yes, if they don’t email another 100 you keep going until you get the result you want never get disheartened by the words no.