In this post, I will share a short story of how one day changed someone’s life and path forever.
I was talking to a close friend about life, he is on the verge of turning 31 and by all accounts, he’s doing well. But his life could have been very different, life sent a sign and he decided to pay attention. He has permitted me to share his story with the hopes that you can take something away from it.
It’s known that in areas of poverty and lack of education, knife and other gang-related crime are an issue, despite the implications of getting caught with one (5-year jail sentence), some are more scared of getting caught without it, for some, the choices are jail or death. I feel we dehumanise these young men without fully trying to understand why. Until we acknowledge and address why nothing will change.
The Story
“Have you ever taken the time to try and understand what makes someone feel they need to carry a knife? Do you think everyone that carries a knife wants to use it? I can tell you that’s not the case, you may ask how do I know, my response would be because I was one of those kids.
I was 16 when I started carrying a knife. I never wanted to, but I felt like I had to. I wasn’t trying to be a tough guy, in fact, I was totally the opposite, I was raised in a respectable household, and never really got in trouble at school.
But at 16 it felt like trouble was looking for me, I grew up in an area with a heavy gang presence and at war with other postcodes, you can try to stay out of the way as much as you want, but at some point, trouble will find you. I’ve been stabbed on the way home from school, I’ve been chased with knives and even had a gun pulled out on me.
The idea of telling my parents never entered my mind, both were the first generation in this country, and I just felt they wouldn’t understand even if they did what could they do? We couldn’t just pick up and leave. As for going to the police, in my area that was a no-no. To be labelled as a snitch is a death sentence.
I felt having a knife would serve more as a deterrent, I noticed the people with weapons are more hesitant when they know you have something to. I never had to use it but it did get me out of a few close calls.
Having a knife started to feel like normality, I almost forgot it was illegal but one day everything changed, it was a friend’s birthday and we all decided to go to the cinema, we were in a group of about 10. The majority were wearing tracksuits, but I was in an Armani jacket and jeans. My cousin taught me at a very early age, the smarter you look, the lower the suspicions.
During the film, I felt something drop but I disregarded it, thinking it was nothing important. After the film I went to the toilet, that’s when I realised I dropped my knife, I ran back to get it. I thought I was lucky to get it before the cleaners did. That lasted for about 10 seconds, the moment we left the cinema something felt wrong, the shopping centre was completely empty and that shopping centre is never empty on a Saturday afternoon.
I could see a police officer running towards us, my heart started beating triple time, I was mad at myself for going back to get the knife, I contemplated running but that made no sense, I was essentially in a cul de sac. I started praying in my head “Lord if you get me out of this, I will change please please please”. The officer was approaching us, there was no doubt about it, so I decided to step ahead of my group and meet him halfway. I asked him “what’s happened“ in a sincere tone he responded saying “Someone has been stabbed”.
At this point, I could have fainted, I knew it wasn’t my knife, but to have a knife in this situation was just as bad. I’m not sure why, but for some reason, I asked him “Is it safe to go outside”. He looked at me puzzled, he was running over to search us, but the way I asked the question probably reminded him that we were just kids, he reluctantly said yes and walked us downstairs. I have always wondered what would have happened if I had acted or dressed differently that day.
We got to the ground floor and there was a line of police searching everyone, one of the officers at the door asked if we needed to be searched, the officer I’d been speaking to responded: “no they’re fine” and they let us go.
The moment I got home I threw the knife in the bin and promised to change my life. I knew how fortunate I was, and I refused to continue to gambling with my life.
However, my environment presented the same issues, just because you change doesn’t mean everything else will change with you. But now I was able to think more strategically. I had to learn to control my environment to the best of my abilities.
I started to move with purpose, after college I would head straight home rather than going to the McDonald’s where a lot of the problems occurred. I reduced my interaction with my friends/family that were involved in gang activities. I was more selective about the events I would attend and I would no longer just chill on the ends.
Some might say I was scared, I wasn’t, I just knew the value of my future. I refused to let the “ends” define my life, I became focused on becoming the best version of myself.
I went to university, graduated with a 2.1, and started working in the corporate world. I still have a long way to go but that faith I will get there.
You can’t experience what I did and not give back, so I have mentored both formally (through charities) and informally. I have personally mentored some of the young guys from my area.
What the youth don’t realise, and myself at that age, we have more choices than we think we do. I just want to help them realise that before its too late
If they searched me that day, my whole path would be different. I was given another chance, I am not wasting that.”
THE END…..
This story is the story of so many young people, the only difference is that they may not have been as fortunate as he was. He felt he needed a knife to keep safe, not knowing that his actions were probably bringing that type of energy into his life.
When you make a serious commitment to change eventually everything else does but by no means will it be easy. But I can promise you it’s possible, some people try but revert to old ways the moment they encounter any type of adversity. For this to truly work you have to be committed to the path.
His change has been remarkable, if you knew who it was you wouldn’t believe it.
Hopefully one day he will share his story personally.
You’re the architect of your life.