Letter To My Younger Self

I recently turned 30, a milestone age that has encouraged me to be more reflective about the man I’ve become and what I would want to say to a younger version of myself. Words of encouragement that I think a 10-year-old me would need to hear as reassurance that everything would be alright.

Dear Ross,

This is a letter to prepare you for everything.

Let’s start with the family, your mum loves you more than anyone walking on this earth. She’ll find a way to give you everything you need, she will defend you against some of the bullies in the area and she’s going to pay £42 every Friday for a science tutor with the hopes that you will become a doctor or pharmacist, only for you to study IT. This will break her heart at first, but it will all work out in the end. 

As you get older and stronger it will become your duty to protect her, she will serve as your motivation. You’re waiting for the day you can tell her to retire. You haven’t done it yet but you will get there.

You’re going to have a special relationship with your Dad, he had to be strict on you otherwise you would be dead, or in prison, but you won’t see that way. Be prepared, he is going to wake you up at 5am to make you eat oats, study the bible and answer maths questions. You’re going to hate this! But because of this, you get to mess around at school and still manage to be above average. As you grow older you will start to appreciate him so much more, and waking up at 5am will become your everyday routine. You will have rough moments with your Dad, but know this, he loves you. Try and be there for him.

Your relationship with your brothers will be weird, you love them both, but you won’t know how to show it. Silly arguments will continue for so long you will forget the cause. You want them to learn from your mistakes, but in time you will accept that sometimes people have to learn on their own. Sometimes it will get so bad that you barely speak, and I know that sounds crazy to you right now but you will remain protective from a distance and still prepared to risk it all for them and deep down, they both know that. My advice would be; enjoy your childhood together.

Justin, Jermaine, and Natasha will take on the role of older siblings even though your just cousins. Justin will have you doing press-ups from an early age. You will wear Jermaine’s clothes to non-uniform days, and Natasha will buy you air forces and tracksuits. The four of you will have little issues but the love will always remain. You just hope they know that. You have to look out for your younger cousins, nephews, and nieces, despite everything, they respect you and need you, so just try to be around.

The transition from primary school to secondary school will be a big one. Holy Family is going to feel like the school of hard knocks. Rumbles during playtime, nutmeg rush, and a bad bus pass photo will have everyone calling you ‘blick’. Going to school and coming home will feel like navigating through a battlefield and because of your friendship with Chris, you will inherit a lot of his issues. But you will survive it all and maintain a good relationship with almost everyone.

You’re going to move areas when your 11, just before starting secondary school and at first you will clash with a few characters in the area, but eventually, it will all be love. They’re going to love you, simply because you remain you. You never act tough, you keep the peace and always show love. The people in your area will begin to feel like family and you will support each other through the highs and lows. You will start to get involved with the “roads” at 16, and it’s only by God’s grace you don’t get into serious trouble. Going to University will be your saving grace.

University is going to be an interesting time in your life, and will come at the right time because some close friends back home are going to get in serious trouble and if you were still around there is a high chance you would be with them. Your first year is going to be hard, not because the course is difficult but because you don’t attend your lectures for some reason. Second year will be just as hard, because instead of attending your lectures, you will focus on being a great ACS President and event planning. In spite of all that, because you’re a smooth talker you manage to get an amazing placement which completely changes your trajectory. And when you come back for final year, you return focused and get the job done.

You will be very fortunate to have some great friends around you, they will be the kind of friends that hold you accountable and will help you on the journey. I can’t lie to you, you will have some funny people around you too, but as it goes there will be people friends that will betray you, and it will hurt. But you will never let that hate enter your heart because that’s never been how you’re built.

Your love life… I know this is the part your waiting for, this could be a letter on its own and probably should be. What I will say for now is that you’re going to have to do a lot of unlearning, you will become “that guy”, only to realise it was the wrong thing to become. You go from getting no love from women to getting a lot of it, and it will get to your head. You will lose relationships you valued, and hurt people that matter to you, but you will learn lessons that will make you better for when the time is right.

The most important thing to let you know is that you’re going to be good, but being good won’t be good enough for you. You’re going to need to push hard to get to the level you feel you should be on.

But trust and believe that you have everything you need to get there. You’ve got this bro

Take Care

Ross,